I have always been a verbal person--someone who is constantly processing my world verbally. I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut when I feel like I can help someone by speaking words. It drives me crazy to feel like there are no magic words that will make everything better. Having this as part of my personality, I completely understand why most people feel the need to verbally support someone who is in pain.
Through my own pain this year I have learned that the deepest support someone can give to a loved one in pain--the most genuine gesture of love--is silence. As uncomfortable as it may be to hold my tongue when someone bears their heart to me, that discomfort is nothing compared to the pain I might inflict on someone by saying the wrong thing.
The greatest gifts I was given during this time were gifts of shared tears, quiet, unspoken prayers, and hugs. I know now that, as those around me trust their hearts and stories of suffering with me, the best thing I can do is to listen quietly. And if circumstances really insist that I speak words out loud, I know to offer tangible helpful actions that will allow the person to find some quiet moments, and a promise to offer heartfelt prayers lifted to the Savior who is the only one who can speak all the right words of comfort and peace to their hearts.
